cha cha cha change...

my last post was way too long away. for real. I have just been so busy, busy, but in a good way.

Remember when I said "something big is coming" well it is. 

My adorable husband, Ryan Gary Bennion, got a new job in Sandy, Utah. 

He works for a company called Telarus, he is loving every minute of it. He is on their marketing team, and is having a blast. I am really proud of him. It takes a lot to just get up and move, you know, that whole

leap of faith thing. 

It isn't easy, but it is what works best for our little family right now. 

SIDE NOTE: Prayer is probably one of the best things at a time like this; for guidance, comfort, keeping an open mind, and realizing what your priorities really are, and so much more. It also helped Ryan and I understand that asking for help is okay. Sometimes making your own decisions without that extra encouragement, or boost, whatever you want to call it, can be very difficult. Isn't it the best feeling though when you get that confirmation/prompting that you are doing something right? We think so. 

I definitely had my share of tears though, why you ask? haha well... 

1. Ryan is in Utah now staying at his dad's house in West Jordan. I am home alone and have been for 2 weeks now. Not fun. :( However, I have a lot more respect for those people who are single parents or in that same position. It is harder than I thought it would be. I would randomly cry at work, home, the bathroom, haha where ever. I didn't want him to go. 

2. There are so many places to live in Utah, it's insane. Really though. 

3. It will be hard moving away. I have a lot of family that is close here and good friends who I can count on. BUT I do have that same thing in Utah, haha but it will just be different. I have been an Idaho potato my whole life haha, I don't know if I can adapt to being a Utard 

(i mean that word -- the utard one -- with the most respect, I mean I am going to be one so...its a given)

4. I am way nervous about making friends? WHOA WHOA what was that? Ya, I said it. I have this thought process in my mind that tells me how competitive it is in Utah for woman and they have to do and be this to be something great. It stresses me out, weird I know, I can't help it. I am competitive but really hard on myself. Also, it is hard already being only 45 minutes away from friends now, how can I do it there? haha. Sounds silly, but I think everyone will forget about us haha. BUT I KNOW it isn't true, I have been thinking this lately after Ryan left and me being home alone. I think that is why I am so nervous to find friends in Utah too, it just all jumbles together I guess. 

5. I really REALLY want Blaire to know who she is as she is growing up in Utah. I want her to be confident and keep that bubbly personality of hers. I am a mother and guess I worry about these things more than I thought I would. 

6. (This doesn't make me cry but I thought I would add it to the list of my life haha) I am working for Ryan's stepdad right now. He is a lawyer for family law, and a pretty darn good one. His legal assistant left on maternity leave and I am helping him out for 6 weeks. I only have 2 more, but it is going by way fast because of how busy I am. I didn't realize what legal assistants do until now. And I don't think deciding how many copies of legal documents to send to court, clients, etc. would be so hard, haha I still can't keep it straight. It has been a great learning experience so far. Except I am never home anymore which is kind of hard, I MISS MY BABY! :) I got use to being a stay at home mom, and liked it. My grandma is kind enough to watch the babe which helps me out a lot! Other family members help when they can which is awesome! Makes it that much harder to leave to Utah. 

There are obviously a bunch more things going through my mind about going to Utah, mainly because I am a woman and have a major TO DO list that falls to my feet, but it will all work out. 

As of now, it is just me and little b. 

Excited for our new adventure :) 

MY SONGS IN ABCs

List #3: Moving
(somewhat satirical - promise I am not depressed haha)

A: All by Myself
(Eric Carmen - literally by myself)

B:Big Girls Don't Cry
(Fergie - i don't know if I am big girl)

C:Cry Me A River
(My boy J-T - from all my crying) 

D: Don't Stop Believing 
(Journey - I won't journey I won't)

E:Everybody Hurts
(R.E.M. - ouch)

F:Fire and Rain
(James Taylor - just a feel good one ya know?)

G:Goodbye My Lover
(James Blunt - bye)

H:Hello Goodbye
(The Beatles - everything goes by so fast)

I:I Will Always Love You
(Whitney Houston - i'll always love you of course)

J: Juke Box Hero 
(Foreigner - One of the hubs favorites)

K:Kiss from a Rose
(Seal - We both love batman haha)

L:Leaving On a Jet Plane
(John Denver - he drove in a car but, you get the idea)

M:Mamma Mia
(Mamma Mia - i am a going a crazy eh)

N:Never Gonna Give you Up
(Rick Astley - you are mine forever)

O:Oh, It is Love
(Hellogoodbye - yes, yes it is)

P:Party in the U.S.A.
(Miley Cyrus - inside joke. ya i know miley uh?...)

Q:Quit Playing Games with My Heart
(Backstreet Boys - i mean this as in "utah" not my lover)

R:Radioactive
(Imagine Dragons - 1. They are from Utah, 2. Song was in a Lebron commerical, 3. just gets you pumped up for awesome things to come, gets you in the zone)

S: The Scientist
(Coldplay - just a sad one)

T:Teenage Dream
(Katy Perry - ya, i just love him)

U:Under Pressure
(Queen - lots of choices to make)

V:Vindicated
(Dashboard Confessional - becoming something better)

W:We Belong
(Pat Benetar - we belong together duh)

X: XYZ
(EXAMINE YOUR ZIPPER - ya I couldn't find a song haha) 

Y:Yeah
(Usher - yeah my husband thinks he is usher sometimes)

Z:Zero
(Yeah Yeah Yeahs - countdown to our new life! :) )

much love,

JPB