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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

new post...

It's been three months since I last wrote (not six! haha)A lot of crazy was happening all at once in such a short time, you can read about that crazy right here.

But of course, life is always crazy and these past couple months have been nothing short of the madness we call happiness.

new JOB:

With Ryan's hard work and patience, which I admire, he was offered a position at Clearlink! He actually wasn't planning on working there but stepped out of his box and just counter-offered for them. The worst they could have said would be no, and we heard that a lot so it was for sure worth a shot. The shot worked and he gladly accepted! It is located out by the airport and he is on their marketing team learning more skills each day! Go Ry! :) 

Honestly, he is a much happier and family oriented man. Not that he wasn't before, his work was just demanding and he noticed he was slowly changing in a way he didn't like. (He talks about it on his blog here.) How grateful I am for his diligence in keeping his head up and looking at the situation with a positive attitude. Also, he made it to 18th grade! :) haha Hooray! Almost done with grad school!



new RESULTS:

This is about our cute BQ. She is learning and talking much more these days, understanding how to do things herself, solve problems to things, etc. Our therapist is one in a million and teachings our family skills we will always use. Not just focused on Blaire, but things to help us work together, and communicate better with one another. Blaire still won't potty train, but I am not worried as much as I use to be; she isn't ready yet. Whether or not other people outside are home understand that or not, I don't really care haha. We are doing what we can, it really is the little things that matter. 

On a side note, she did run away from home and was missing for 30 minutes. NOT FUN. Scariest thing in the world. We were outside having popsicles with neighbors and I turned around for one second and she disappeared. We looked in our houses around our area and I thought she probably ran to the park possibly? And sure enough my amazing neighbor found her there. Of course I cried when I saw her I don't wish this upon any parent. She didn't realize it was wrong and still doesn't grasp the concept but the therapist has taught us some new things to help her stay by us. We have to play the stop & go game outside while holding hands, give her specific choices, etc. There is hope haha! But Blaire is honestly a wonderful, independent, beautiful and busy girl. We are excited to see what her energy and excitement about life will bring to this world.

new HOUSE:

I thoroughly enjoy having a place to call our own. As you can see below, still pretty empty. We finally put up some curtains with the help of our amazing neighbors! I just got white because I couldn't take it anymore. I am extremely picky/perfectionist but it works. I am nervous to put holes in the wall too. Which is why nothing is hung, etc. It takes time and money to get what we need/want which I am fine waiting, more times than others. We will get there :) 

video

new PERSPECTIVE:

As with everyone, life is always teaching us to learn something new, challenge us to new heights per say. I knew I was a perfectionist but I didn't realize how damaging it can be. My anger was becoming more constant over simple things. I was putting a wedge between my relationship with Ryan, my kids, and all things spiritual. I began believing the lie that everything had to be right, perfect, then, and not later. I knew something had to change or life was going to get more difficult for me. Ryan and I kept talking and suggested I talk to his uncle Rex who has worked for the church being a counselor, among other things. I had this constant battle for a couple days about calling him, being anxious about it, you name it. I finally just called him I am so glad I did of course!

I learned within minutes that being a perfectionist is a weakness of mine. I hold myself to a pretty high standard which can be difficult when I make the smallest mistake such as forgetting to read my scriptures in the morning. In 3 Nephi 12:48 (Or Matthew 5:48) it says, "Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect." This is an interesting verse because it isn't possible to be perfect right now, only through Christ and his atonement is it made possible. But not even in this life is it possible. We will be, and are constantly told, we make mistakes. Satan uses this concept and makes us think that mistakes so small make us unworthy to follow Christ, or pray to know he loves us, etc. With that said, I have to constantly tell myself:

1. Perfectionism is a Lie
2. I can know this is a lie if I pray continually about it, I will feel and know it is a truth.
3. Prayer is key and the Lord still loves me for my weakness.

I was totally in a therapy session over the phone. #noshame and it's working! :) I am slowly, not easily, coming to understand how to change my weakness to a strength. This is kind of more personal than I usually share? But with conference coming and my depth within the gospel lately, I just hope everyone knows they are loved. Despite their weaknesses. Sounds like a broken record but I know that if you pray and ask for God's love. You will feel it and you can't forget it. I made this quote by Elder Holland below to keep me on track, it really works with anyone whatever they are going through! :) (there is a watermark on the print haha thats why it may look funny) 



SIDE NOTE: I taught myself a lot of new things to do with illustrator and such for my Etsy shop. I kept asking a talented friend who is beyond adorable from home to do some family portrait stuff for myself and family members my family never got back to me, etc. Long story short, I never had her do it and I totally forgot about it. Six months later Ry lost his job, and other things, we didn't have too much extra cash flow for extra wants. I thought maybe I can do it too? So I essentially taught myself and went from there! I hesitated showing people because I get so nervous about stuff like that. Being vulnerable and sharing your talents. 

Anyways, again my perfectionism can get the best of me with all aspects in my life but don't hesitate to be you people! :) You would be surprised what you can learn about yourself haha. 

new YEAR:

We have 3 summer birthdays! Ryan, Brooks and I! It is kind of fun with lots of celebrating to do! For my bday we didn't do anything too crazy! I hung out with my aunt haha she is pretty great and we have the same birthday so... it's kind of a must! Also, it happened! BLAIRE AND I GOT OUR EARS PIERCED TOGETHER! haha I have never had them before? Who knew, haha. It was fun. She did great too! She only cried for one second! :)





For Ry, we were actually on our way to Idaho since it was July 4th weekend! So we did a lot of family stuff for his birthday! And poor Brooks. haha Ryan had to work all day so I went to the park with some neighborhood friends and we played. He got some gifts but I didn't even have a chance to decorate or anything! WORST MOM EVER! I felt so bad! haha But he is loved I promise :) He started walking around his 1st birthday, now running. He still laughs 24/7. He is excited about life. His personality is very bold and outgoing from what we can tell so far. If anything he over exaggerates every emotion right now which is hilarious and so sweet! Bad note, he loves to bite. Little weasel. haha but he is still a cutie! 

new MEMORIES:

With all that said, we had a lot of fun this summer with new friends and family togetherness. I am grateful for those close to me and far! Isn't life just great? :)


We love when Karly Katee & Mite come visit

Side Note: Blaire never says Katee, always Karly or only Mi't'e
(Never says that 'k' haha) 
Go Gougs! (With our adorable BSU fan) 

4th of July with Ivy Mae! 
These amazing peeps running races! :) (PS: the couple next to ry are having a baby and it's pretty rad since they have been trying forever! :) :) :) You should read her story here! It's so tender!)



Grandpa Bennion's Funeral






Olsen Family Reunion




Ryan's Sweet Grandma who passed away recently after his Grandpa. 
Lagoon!!!! :) (Cannibal was legit ps.)  



Shouldn't have gone on that Cliffhanger... 
That time my mom took me to see the Kristen Chenoweth. Oh my heavens. Amazing. 



Love the park with the babes! 




Until next time!

Much Love,

JPB

Ps. Is fall here yet! That means, Halloween is coming. haha HOORAY! :)

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