Yes, that's us...

It's a new year & of course a delay in my blog writing bahahaha. I laugh because I really am bad at it. It's okay though, I do it for fun & in my free time which can be hard to find. Sadly, I need to make more of it but who doesn't. haha

2015 was amazing of course. We had a fun holiday with Ryan's mom and all his siblings. It was hard for me to leave. Mainly because I never had siblings close to my age and so it was fun to see that kind of love and togetherness. Not that I didn't have love, etc. growing up at holiday's, just a different type of closeness if that makes sense.  We didn't get to see everyone we wanted to but we are grateful for the time we had with everyone great or small, or not at all (maybe I should be the next dr. Seuss). It was a good and challenging 2015, but worth every minute. 

............

Lately life have been a little difficult to understand, not horrible things just more frustrating experiences/life in general/situations everyone knows about. 

1. Those things you get into and get from here to there, they have 4 wheels.

We bought a VAN, a Toyota sienna 2013, heck yes. haha #noshame.  I have never been a van person so it's been a different adjustment but worth it for sure. We needed a new car extremely bad. Having one car is rough. I wasn't able to leave the house when I needed to, felt a little trapped somedays. Honestly though, we had to make it work. Ryan works in SLC by the airport, and the trax system in Utah has no stops or bus stops where he is at. Also, he has his MBA to focus on and homework has to be a on his priority list. Anyways, so a couple weeks before Christmas, we found a good deal on the van and snatched it at Velocity here in Utah. Then a month later (aka: last week) our old car's engine went out. :( boo... I may have teared up. Only because the luxury of two cars was gone once again after such a short time. It is nice not having a car payment, so once we got the van it was understandable, but now that we will have two is moi sucky. 

2. Wanting to be something, knowing your not a certain thing, and wanting to fix it. 

Ugh, weight has been a struggle with me since I have had kids. I am sure people are like (oh, she has gained weight, etc.) haha I have been asked more in life if I am pregnant with not actually being pregnant this last year. I just carried all my weight from brooks in my gluteus maximus area and my abdominals that can't been seen. However, I will admit it's my fault. I wasn't very consistent with working out. And I love dessert I really do! haha it's not even candy, or pop (soda whatever), etc. I just love that end portion of the meal. With my schooling/degree I should know what is good and bad for me and I do. It was difficult for me to just do it, once again making that time for myself. Once we got another car I was able to go to the gym everyday, and I missed it! I love working out. Just forgot how much haha. So now that we have one car again, it's hard for me to do it at my house. I hate doing it at home. I have to many distractions (not sweets) but projects, etc. So frustratingly I have been trying to balance it and I don't know how to be honest. Just because I don't have a car to go to the gym is no excuse haha so.... A friend talked to me about a netflix documentary about wanting to be HEALTHY, not SKINNY. I have yet to watch it but it is so true. I need to stop saying "I want to be skinny", I really don't haha I want to be fit and healthy and I am fully capable of it. 

3. Children are so wonderful but can be so difficult to understand at the same time. (This is every human individual in this world right? haha so it should make sense). 

But it doesn't. I am that mom sometimes people have said to me or about my kids, not sure if they thought it but I know they have said, "Those kids need medication", or, "I don't think they get enough attention", "Does she ever sit still?" "Is she okay?" haha for reals sometimes it sounds funny to me because I laugh a lot of things off it helps. But it can be difficult. Not the words people say. I am not ever saying, ew who are you to say that "blah blah you (insert swear word I guess)" haha never. In my mind I say, oh shoot, maybe I need to focus on them more, or am I doing enough for Blaire and her behaviors? Is brooks okay that he is a momma's boy? For example, at church Blaire is one of the few, if only, sunbeam that runs around the primary room for an hour.  It doesn't help that I play the piano in there haha but I can tell it's annoying to people because it's annoying to me, and I see their faces. Not that kids should sit still 24/7 get real. haha in a perfect world. But when others don't understand her behavior problems, and when Blaire doesn't understand me or the why to be more reverent it becomes a game I don't like to play. This is also the case when she should be potty trained but isn't. She knows how, but chooses not too. I know I am good mom and can improve in some areas just like everyone else. Just hard to understand why sometimes. Another thing, my kids are starting to be more picky eaters. We actually eat healthy foods, I don't buy processed foods. I make a lot of things which I enjoy doing! (haha I just like dessert haha) We do a lot of organic foods too. Anyways, but when my kids don't eat anything I make and all they want is toast and cereal it get's old. Just eat haha okay? haha just eat yummy dinner. Easier said than done.

4. Overwhelmingness of broken things and wanting to fix them but can't just yet. 

I mean this in a real sense, not my soul haha. Our material items in our home are old, broken, and just outdated. (couches, tv, table, etc.) We have always moved to renters places and could hang things up. Holes didn't matter, but now it's our home, haha we have to be more aware of things. We love our home, it's our first actual home but it is slowly but surely getting to where we want it. And of course things cost $$$ and lately we have had to put that in new cars, etc. Honestly,, I haven't ever posted pictures inside because it's not "pinterest" worthy. We aren't embarrassed of our home but it almost doesn't feel like it is complete just yet. Johanna Gaines would be appalled at my curtains in our kids bedrooms, aka its a blanket. But I have thought in the back of my mind, when I go to a friends house, oh they would be so embarrassed for me if they came to my house. haha but then I know those things don't matter. And they don't honestly, but I think it is human nature to want things to feel complete. And on the other hand it all sounds so petty-like. It's this overwhelming sense of not knowing where to start but I feel like I have to. Just weird haha. Perfectionism at it's finest.

5. My voice is triumphant.

Triumphant as in = too loud or extremely needs to calm down. Aka. I am a yeller. haha Honestly that's the only way I have known things can be done. It's not all the time or everyday. But when I get angry or upset, or I have cleaned everything and a cracker gets smashed in the carpet, etc. that triumphant voice decides to come out. It's okay to have arguments or be frustrated, but in a tone that is accepting. haha I am pretty sure mine is not. I realized finding out about this weakness per say, it has hindered me from feeling better about myself, it has hindered me from being a better mother, wife, friend. 

Now that my complaining is done, I know everyone has their stuff. Their issues, their problems, their weaknesses. We are more alike in this world than I think we realize. When I look at the big picture of it all, I have my family. I have Ryan who works hard, he wants the things that I want. People don't realize his strengths sometimes. But we do here at home. Blaire is someone honestly I hope I learn how to be. She just goes for it haha doesn't care what people think I need more of that. Brooks is hilarious. He wants and chooses to be happy all the time. I don't know if an 18 month toddler really knows life in those aspects but his laughs and child-like nature is a good presence in the home. 

Also, having the gospel, having a knowledge of something higher/divine is a strength to have. It brings hope, and a purpose in this life. A wonder and awe of all the good things we do have in this world amongst the crazy (politics, wars, lies, he said she said, i am right you aren't, etc.). Pray is so needed! haha It helps with my triumphant voice, my worries for my children, my struggles to understand why, my hopes to become better in all aspects, to help others, et. I would be lost without it. We as people have been given good to do good with. I am grateful for this, for a Savior, for believing and knowing something that has never failed me. I can't deny His truths. 

Yes, life sucks sometimes and it's okay to know that. haha But it really is pretty rad :)

(Just in case you didn't know haha, the Broncos are going to the Superbowl. #lifeisgreat)

Much Love,

JPB

chao twenty fourteen...

{Thanksgiving}

........................................

Ryan had a huge family reunion! His mom's parents and siblings were all able to come together for it! There was about 75 people give or take at Thanksgiving dinner. Kind of a lot haha. We reserved a church building for it all or else we wouldn't have been able to eat together. We stayed in a hotel for a couple days for a somewhat "stay"cation to spend as much time with all these people Ryan hasn't seen in 5 plus years. We loved it! It was really fun to see everyone and learn more about Ryan's grandparents. On top of Thanksgiving we celebrated their 65th (I think) anniversary, and both of their birthday's the day after Thanksgiving at the church. Sadly, Ryan's grandmother Nyda has a very severe onset of Alzheimer's. She can say maybe one or two words in her rambling, however she still is so spunky and will smile and love on the grandkids. The highlight of it all for us was to see the love Ryans grandfather, Alec, show his love for Nyda and for the Savior. He is one of the most service oriented and thoughtful man I have ever met. To hear the stories their children shared, to see him hug his family for so long and not let go, to hear him pray, to hear him talk about his sweet wife, words can't describe. I was in such awe. We have a great example and legacy to live up to! :)

So adorable.

{Christmas}

........................................

For the past 5 years I have been able to go to my mom's for Christmas. It is hard because, as I said before, we have a lot of family and everyone wants to see us. I actually did see some of my mom's family because my aunt put on a gingerbread house party!

 It is hard to see all our family sadly, we don't like it! However, this year we thought it best to visit my dad in Kennewick, Washington. He is always a fun guy to be around, lots of stories and thoughts on a wide range of topics. It is nice because we got to just do whatever haha no obligations really. I love that aspect and atmosphere my mom (pam) creates. We haven't seen them on a Christmas for awhile. It was a relaxing and enjoyable time, hanging out, making dinner, and chilling with my siblings that I never see. The weather was actually gorgeous (until we had to leave & mind you we left at the worst time possible because the blues were horribly covered in snow yikes!). We went to a couple of movies, Into the Woods (the boys didn't go haha get real). We liked Into the Woods, little strange at times. I do love the music though and I knew the story already so I was expecting the outcome it had. A lot of people I guess were hating on it. haha whatever I like musicals. Also, Ryan and I were able to go on a date and we saw St. Vincent (hilarious Bill Murray independent movie haha I would suggest it!). 

Yummy Treats!  

 

Ryan always writes me cute
notes for my presents :)

Dad & brooks so exhausted! :) 

{New Years}

........................................

Ryan's uncle, Grant, invites whoever is around for a New Years Eve/Day get together! This year, Ryan's brother Glen and his cute family were able to come too before they go back to Washington. Grant's kids (cousins Ryan and Glen are close with), and his wife's kids were all there too! We played games, ate delicious food (always have some homemade Mexican in the mix) and stayed up probably too late haha after our simple countdown and I can't forget my New Year's kiss with my love! :) It was fun and hope we get to do it again. The next day we decided to go see the New Years Day sales, and oh my. Dillards is crazy. My sister-in-law Hailey and her family are all about this sale. She is always raving about how amazing it is! :) So this year Ryan's cousins (the girls) and I went to check it out. All I say is insane, it's like Black Friday! haha. Unfortunately we didn't find anything, we got there late. Now we know for next year what to do if we want anything! We were total rookies. 

Blaire & cousin Gracie!

Anyways, I always look forward to the end of the year because of all the family we get to see. This year was just that! :) With the holiday season, Brooks being born in August, a fun summer, etc. twenty fourteen was perfect. I do wish it could have ended on a lighter note. I had to close my business, but only temporary until we move.

Let me explain... 

When I first moved to Utah I got my Sales Tax license and thought that was all I needed. In Idaho, I didn't need to get separate license for the city I lived in to allow me to sell. However, I do in Utah. So I was sent a letter saying I would get a citation if I didn't get this license because I apparently received a letter I didn't respond to! Yikes! So I got it all situated and they were very kind about it all. No fines, etc. All I had left to do was get the property manager of the complex we live at to sign a form saying it was okay. Through a bunch of phone calls, and driving all over the city, the owner won't sign the papers because I would be liable? And they couldn't tell me how I would be. I am still waiting to hear back from them since they have been closed for New Years. Mainly, I was just frustrated because it was something I worked so hard for and tried to make it mine and it was/is! :) Not that it was the most popular, or the most interesting to others but I really like doing what I do for others using my creative side. I still don't have a full answer why and that doesn't make it any better. I was so upset I was mad crying! haha I don't recall ever doing that before, but the best part about it all is a couple things. 1. I called Ryan right away and he said just what I needed and told me he loved me :) and then 2. The city is actually trying to find an answer as to why the owner won't let me too. 

Despite these strange but fun past couple days, I have a happy life and marriage, I have two crazy, spunky children, and I have a Savior who loves me for me. The best part of it is I am still learning how to balance it all and I love the challenge!

Can't complain about that. :)

chao twenty fourteen,

JPB

{ps. my cousin Chandler got his mission call to Toronto Canada! He actually kept it a secret from his parents for a long time! Seriously, way hard to keep that secret haha. He surprised them with an early christmas present and opened it Christmas Eve! They must know he likes hockey or something, eh? :)}

personal inventory...

I like to think of taking stock as an inventory of my life. Haven't taken inventory for sometime and it sounded like fun haha. 

{Inventory:}

........................................

Making: Well didn't make much today, but on Friday I made homemade brownies. Delicious.

Cooking: I usually like cooking but today I just don't like it.

Drinking: Water with ice! Just the best.

Reading: I have been trying to finish a book for like a month and I don't make time for it. It is "The Death Cure" the last book in the Maze Runner series. I can do it! :)

Watching: Not the Broncos, they lost today :( But Breaking Bad is pretty legit.

Wanting: Thanksgiving to be here! Excited to see all Ryan's family! 

Looking: For a play kitchen for Blaire, and a new bedroom comforter set/pillows/etc. 

Playing: Nothing? BUT I went to this legit dance party and they gave all guests a game and I chose Battleship. haha

Wasting: HOLY GARBAGE! After two kids garbage seems to pile so much more. Or we are eating more? haha One of the two. 

Sewing: My grandma is giving me her serger. Life = COMPLETE 

Wishing: The dealership lights behind our apartment would shut off! They are on all night and shine through our windows like the sun is 5 feet away. Kind of bugging. 

Enjoying: My two littles! They make Ryan and I laugh 24/7 and we are so grateful to have them. We are learning a lot about love from them.  

Waiting: For me to stop worrying so much about things. You know when you have those days where your mind is going a mile a minute trying to figure out this and that? Seriously, makes me exhausted! Yesterday was one of those days. 

Liking: The fact that I don't care what people think anymore like I used to 5 plus years ago, haha seriously. It is a great feeling.

Wondering: (maybe calculating) When I need to feed Brooks again. 

He is always hungry, every two and a half hours on the dot! haha It is nice, but not at night when we should be sleeping, silly babe. 

Loving: My business! It is still slow moving, simple, but it is mine! I enjoy doing it! 

Hoping: My headache goes away :/ Never had headaches until I got my IUD in haha so WEIRD! 

Marveling: At our beautiful view! The mountains are gorgeous in Utah! And so close to us! Heavenly Father sure knows beauty! :) 

Needing: A new wardrobe. Who wants to go shopping? (#stillhavepregofat #clothesdontfit #outofstyle #needsomemoredough #wishiwasamasterclothesmaker)

Smelling: Winter, you know that cold brisk type smell? haha (oh and brooks just pooped).

Wearing: Comfy plaid sweats, white V-neck and an orange jacket - love my comfy Sundays.

Following: Too many things on Instagram. I went and cleaned it all up, following businesses that I don't even like, etc. Mainly because I would follow them\from a previous giveaway and never look at their stuff again. It feels good to get rid of them haha in a good way!

Noticing: How fast time is going. There are such fun moments with our little babes! But the more they get older, the more fun moments we have. I know we will blink and our kids will have kids! 

I love it!

Knowing: That there is hope in the Savior and His atonement helps.

Thinking: How I have a happy life :)

Feeling: Full from lunch!

Bookmarking: Ways to help Blaire and her speech, new places to live, and how to sew certain things that I struggle with.

Opening: My mouth because I am yawning. 

Giggling: At the kids answers in primary today, my kids facial expressions, my husbands silly jokes haha. 

Feeling: Thankful! There is good in the world and I get to have a part of it everyday! :) 

Much Love,

JPB

it's getting hot in here...

I can't say anything before I give a HUGE thank you to Ryan's dad and stepmom Lori! 

They let us borrow their AC window units and life is much more cool. 

{see what I did there?}

Ryan and I have never lived on a top floor before. Our apartments have always been fairly cool and comfortable. Love life at Murray Place but not so much in the summer! It can get up to 95 degrees in our little humble abode; also my pregnant body no likey. 

Again, thanks to the parentals, it stays in the 70's which is perfect. 

I LOVE COLD AIR AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

Now on to more summer adventures

{Adventures 1-5 can be found here}: 

Adventure #6

{Hogle Zoo}

..................................................

Ryan's stepmom Lori and stepsister Brookell were around the area and asked Blaire and I if we wanted to go to the Hogle Zoo. Of course we said yes. Besides the fact Blaire hates loathes DESPISES her stroller, it was great! 

She was adorable. She wouldn't stop jabbering, laughing, pointing, or smiling at everything she saw! We think her favorite was the monkeys and the polar bear because of how much she screamed with excitement. It was very entertaining and perfect. 

It was pretty roasty outside so we had her play in this splash pad place at the zoo. I think we were quite jealous she got to do that haha. 

Lori is so giving and great! Blaire loved being around her and Brookell. We are so thankful for how kind her family has been and welcoming to all of us crazy kids. WE LOVE YOU GUYS! :) 

Adventure #7

{Ryan's Birfday}

..................................................

In past posts, I have talked about Ryan having an off the wall work schedule. Because of this he took a 4 day break this week. We weren't complaining! :) It just so happened this time fell during his birthday...smart move @ryben3 

His birthday started out with homemade breakfast burritos. HOWEVER, I was bummed because we didn't have any more strawberries for strawberry waffles {Ry's favorite}. Thankfully, he loves Mexican food so it worked out great.  

We then got ready for the day awaiting the time for our one-hour relaxation massage. 

IT WAS HEAVENLY {understatement}. 

We couldn't do them at the same time so Ryan went first and then I got mine. Both of us had never been graced with one before, they will probably be a more regular thing in our life. When Ryan came out he had this "massage drunk" look on his face, haha he was loving life. 

Right after my massage we went to drop off Blaire at my cousin Aaron and Caitlins house. They were very generous to watch Blaire for us because they gave us a one-night stay at a hotel in downtown Salt Lake. I had been watching their kids for sometime and they kept offering to do this for us. We didn't think we deserved it by any means but they kept pushing for us to use it. So thank you Caitlin and Aaron! :) VERY much appreciated. 

By that time we were hungry for dinner and the birthday boy chose none other than SUSHI. We ate at Simply Sushi, which was litereally 10 seconds away from our hotel haha. Worked out perfect. I am personally not a fan of sushi and just order the breaded vegtables everytime. I do however like watching what people get, there are cool names and crazy colored foods haha. Ryan had 4 rolls and loved everybite. Oh, our server's name was Nemo. He was pretty legit. 

After dinner, we took the trax to temple square and walked around. We also found the family history center in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and Ryan learned some knew things about the program! It was fun. It also was a goregous and beautiful day. And a perfect day because the time we got to spend talking and reminicising. You don't get that time very often alone when kids come into the picture. They do make life better of course but it is nice to have time together.

It was getting late so we ended the day relaxing at the hotel. We even got the hot tub to ourselves!

I am very thankful for Ryan and all he does for our family, he deserved a good day :) 

Adventure #8

{America's Birfday}

..................................................

America day started outside our apartment watching the parade. Yeah, we lasted 30 minutes. The child wouldn't sit still for too long and anyways it was almost 90 degrees by 9:30. But hey, we did get some salt water taffy's. 

 I usually go with my mom's family to party all day. So this year we of course we had the fam BBQ, and end the night going to Stadium of Fire. This year Carrie Underwood came. No I am not a fan of country, but she does a good job singing. And I do admit I sang along with the songs that I knew {Jesus Take the Wheel, All-American Girl, and the beloved Before He Cheats!}. 

Oh and she has a rockin bod! 

Before Carrie and the BIG firework show, they have little things here and there for entertainment. They always have the american flag come into the staidum by skydivers! It is pretty neat :) And Studio C came from BYU. It was alright, just more corny than funny with their skits and stuff. People are really obsessed with it though. A little side theme was superheroes so they had Batman, Superman, and some other superhero greats, do a jumping acrobatic trick show. It was fun to watch. The only thing I think we wish we could change was the traffic. It takes a way long time to get out of parking, very annoying haha but you know you have to deal with it. 

It was great to celebrate America's birthday! I love the reminder of the freedoms we do have, the history of it all. Just feels good to have pride on this day. #murica
(everyone loved saying this for some reason haha did u notice? Didn't know we turned to hicks)

Adventure #9
{I Hate Goodbyes}
..................................................

Ryan's bro Glen got into medical school up in Yakima, Washington! So we had a surprise get together to say goodbye and hang out before they left us for awhile. We spent the day going to lunch, talking, relaxing, just normal stuff. It was harder than I thought to be honest to send them off. I didn't think I would cry, it wasn't because I was preggers either. Just the idea that they are farther away and we won't get to see little Olive and them as much is very bittersweet. Happy for them, but selfishly want them to stay close! :) WE WILL MISS YOU GUYS!!! :) LOVE YOU!

Adventure #10
{July 24th}
..................................................

Utah loves this holiday and for a good reason! In Idaho I just remember going to a simple field of wards/stakes that had booths and food. In Utah, people get the day off, everyone has parades, its a huge party all over! I went to the Mapleton parade with the babe and my moms family. My uncle built a WWII authentic jeep and he was in the parade. He does all those Saints and Soldiers movies, he loves the war stuff. So it is always fun seeing someone you know in a parade makes it more exciting! Blaire was actually pretty good at this parade, MAINLY because I had my aunt Stacy literally chasing her around the whole afternoon at the park and all the festivities. I don't know how I could have done it without my family. Being pregnant you can't run around as much haha. I was so thankful!! Blaire kept running away from Stacy though saying no over and over again because she of course wanted to venture on her own. Typical but I love that little personality of hers :)

It was a good first official Utah Pioneer Day for me and I loved it! Hot, but fun to be with loved ones.

Adventure #11

{Graduate School}

..................................................

Well, this adventure has been a challenge. Ryan worked really hard in trying to get in his top choice schools, unfortunately to simply put it he didn't get in after taking part in the whole process even after the interview. It was hard because he did all he could and felt discouraged, defeated, etc. I don't like seeing him like that. HOWEVER, I have never seen him more encouraged to try again. He took a week to think about his next step in achieving this goal and found a solution. He talked with the University of Phoenix and went through their submission process for an MBA with an emphasis in Marketing and he GOT IN! :) No, it isn't the way he thought he would be getting his MBA, but he didn't want to put off another year of time wasted when he could have been in school. 

I totally supported his decision and couldn't be more proud of him. It was a struggle for him at first but he realized that his goals are possible and everything does happen for a reason. 

Faith definitely played a role in this process, as well as prayer and support from many family members. It was a neat perspective because we had that support but the end result didn't rule in our favor. Sometimes it is easy to think "oh we are doing everything right...etc...so it will all work out a this or that way." This experience was a good reminder that the Lord truly is always there for us and knows what is best at the time even though we can't see the whole picture.

 It is a great comfort to know that we have the Savior to lean on if we allow ourselves to do so, why wouldn't we want to have that type of perspective in our life. FAITH is very very key in this life. And I have learned that more being married to Ryan and the experiences we have shared. 

SO...September 30th is the first day of school for the hubs. :) He will take one class for 6 weeks, and move on to the next for a year and a half and then finish out that second year working on his emphasis. He will work full-time while going, but work is very lenient and support him going to school 100%. I am thankful that I will be able to still stay home with Blaire and the future babe still. Seriously, Ryan is my hero haha as corny as that sounds. No,  life isn't perfect we are poor, we want things we don't need, we need things we can't get, but I wouldn't change it for anything. Love you sweetie! :) 

Thanks for bearing with me with all these words, I can't get my pictures to load so this post may have been a lot to take in! :) If you read the whole thing, thank you. If you didn't, understandable because I don't know if I would have haha.

Until next time!

Much Love,

JPB

Baby Update:

August is going to be amazing because a babe is on the way very soon! I am due the 5th which has already passed, haha it is the 7th today. I was expecting this to happen so I was already prepared for it. I haven't had contractions, or other signs he is coming. Besides the fact I have to pee a lot more and kicks me in my crotch constantly. Silly kid. But I am hoping by Sunday I will start progressing more. I haven't these past two weeks. Still at a 2, same effaced percentage. So we will see. Our life will be changing in a great way though I KNOW FOR SURE the 14th of August! That day I will be induced. On the 11th I go in for a stress test to see if the baby is still functioning okay, if not I will be induced that day. The reason for the 14th is because Tuesday and Wednesday is full of women already taking up time to be induced. There is a lot more people in Utah than Rexburg, Idaho. Especially at IHC haha. But SERIOUSLY WE can't wait!!! :) 

As for cravings: mainly ice cream, Neapolitan which is strange haha but I love it maybe too much. Also, re-watching The Office for the 4th or 5th time in my life. Seriously the greatest.
Domestically: went crazy with the nesting. Cleaned out my whole house it feels great haha. And I sewed a car seat cover that I love. I did one for Blaire so I figured I shouldn't use the girly one for the baby boy.
Names: No idea. Sad, but true. You will all know his name right when we do! :)

can't sleep...why not make that list again

I forgot how insomnia takes over your life when pregnant. 

To pass the time thought I would do another "taking stock" 

{still not sure why it is called that}

Anyways, I have only done it once before: THE FIRST ONE

It is fun looking back and seeing what has changed to now in this small late night moment. 

Making: A yummy texas sheet cake I was craving last night.
Cooking: Nothing today, we ate at Red Robin :) 

Drinking: ICE COLD WATER

Reading: Nothing since Allegiant. Need a new read people. 

Watching: Sherlock Holmes (BBC style) & Scandal of course. 

Wanting: Air conditioning...please please? 

Looking: For pregnancy pants/shorts. 

Seriously anything, it isn't as easy as you would think. 

Playing: All day with Blaire! We have had more time together as of late 

and I am kind of obsessed with her. 

Wasting: Veggies lately. We eat more fruit but it is hard to get those fresh veggies in some weeks.

Sewing: A new blanket, car seat cover, etc. for our little guy--

 oh wait haven't started yet. 

Wishing: We didn't have to budget sometimes. 

Enjoying: Blaire growing up and just my little families life. 

It changes so much in a good way :)

Waiting: What our next step is because Ry didn't get into the grad program he wanted to :( 

{More on this topic later} 

Liking: Family time! Lot of fun things are coming up :)

Wondering: If I am doing all I can to be a good mother, wife, friend, etc. 

Loving: The idea of having another sweet newborn in our home. 

Hoping: I can realize my talents/potential at ALL times. 

Easy to get lost in this fast paced world. 

Marveling: At my hubby's hard work! I am a lucky one! :) 

Needing: A chiropractic adjustment haha seriously my ribs need some help.
Smelling: That summer night/breeze. It's pretty amazing. 

Wearing: My favorite gray/white stripped pj's with my target v-neck. 

Following: More like stalking all my friends and their beautiful lives! 

I know lots of great people! :) 

Noticing: That my toenail is growing back. Yeah, it fell off. 

Knowing: The most important things I have in my life are because of my Savior. 

Thinking: Too much. Seriously, my mind goes a mile a minute after midnight.

Feeling: Sweaty, but cooling down a bit haha. 

Bookmarking: Potty training tips, educational things 

I can teach my little Blaire.

Opening: A can of pop....SIKE... hate that stuff. Opening a box of allergy medicine. Just call me sneezy. 

Giggling: At Blaire's dancing. Greatest dance moves I have ever seen.
Feeling: Tired but I can't fall asleep. 

Much Love,

JPB

vices...idaho...conference

My Vice

{What the randomness:}

...................................................

Confession time, I totally gave in and started watching Vampire Diaries.

What in the world did I do to myself. I always said I would never cave-in because it just seemed corny and lame. Oh, and it is, but of course I can't resist. 

Team Damon?

Team Stefan?

Now I know the struggle every teen/adult woman has. Probably some men too, but anyways I am not a hater anymore. So thank you Netflix is what I really should say.

AND...

Ryan has been wanting to watch Scandal forever, so we started that too. It's not to bad haha. Oh late night TV what would we do without you. Definitely a VICE. 

..................................................

Idaho

{Always be Idahome to me:}

.................................................

Ryan suggested going to Idaho for this past weekend, and it worked out because his sister Karly was graduating from BYU-Idaho. Everyone had dinner together at Pizza Pie Cafe {aka: craigo's} and then we headed to 'the burg'. We couldn't have been more excited for her! She worked really hard for her degree and totally deserves it, the graduation was a little different haha but it was awesome seeing her accomplish her goal :). 

On a side note, it was somewhat fun going back to Rexburg and having all those memories flooding back in. The good ones haha. But I do take pride in going there regardless of what many say. BYU-I for life yo. 

Anyways, the rest of the weekend we just hung around. Ryan played some golf, we had dinner at the park, then went to movie, and had some yummy ice cream after! 

{We saw Draft Day, it was entertaining! We liked it, not the best movie ever but it was a fun one to watch.} 

It was nice to see people I haven't seen in awhile, to catch-up on their life. Also sad because there is always so much I want to do but I never have enough time to make my to do list complete. 

BUT Idaho, don't you worry, we will be back! 

{some leavitts and bennions, and a peck?} 

...................................................

Conference

{Ending on a lighter note:}

...................................................

General Conference is honestly a great way for anyone, members of the LDS faith or not, to find a new light in their life. A fresh start in a sense. There were many questions I prepared myself with and I did find the answers. The Lord does work in mysterious ways and I love IT! 

{traditional homemade
cinnamon rolls}

{Picture of Kent's doppleganger} 

{BQ taking notes with us}

I am going to share 3 things that stood out to me most, you may have heard these ideas or not, but that is what is great about these 'mysterious ways'. We may have the same question but hear our answers in a different way.

1. Richard G. Scott "I have Given You an Example"

Elder Scott said a sense of this: 

"If you focus on the most basic principles, you will gain a better understanding of what the Lord needs from you" 

We get so caught up in the world, the fast pace it moves, we can forget to stop and realize what our priorities should be. It was just a simple reminder for me that the finding the light of Christ in your life is simple and a very easy task to take part in. 

2. Robert D. Hales "If Ye Love Me, Keep My Commandments"

Elder Hales, like many others, talked about obedience. He acknowledged 3 types of obedience:

Natural Man's Obedience

{rejecting God's law for our own desires/popularity}

Selective Obedience

{picking and choosing whichever commandments we want to follow}

Mature Obedience

{the Saviors obedience, willingly obeying Him} 

At times I think we can fall under each one of these categories, I know I am not innocent. However, being a disciple of Christ requires learning mature obedience or we cannot become that disciple. 

3. Dieter F. Uchtdorfs "Grateful in Any Circumstances"

 There is always a need to be thankful, especially in our current circumstances. 

Elder Uchtdorf talked about how we need to be thankful in the now and not to worry about our endings for we only have 

"everlasting beginnings". For me, I can find myself thinking of the future and what kind of mother I will be, wife, the home we will have, mainly possible FUTURE blessings. BUT I have so much to be thankful for in our humble apartment, little Blaire and our future little boy, Ryan and his dedication to work hard and get into grad school, and much more. Our life is a simple one but there is great happiness if I let it. 

{testimony}

I am thankful for a Savior who loves me, faults and all. His Atonement is the one sure thing in this life I can always count on. I know without my testimony and the knowledge I have gained so far about the gospel, I would not be the person I am today. I am thankful for my weaknesses that bring me closer to Christ. It helps me understand the unconditional love He and our Father in Heaven truly has for us. 

Thomas S. Monson is true Prophet of the Lord and speaks on His behalf. The Book of Mormon testifies of Christ and helps me learn how to become a true disciple. I am thankful for the temples and the beauty they bring inside and out for my family here and on the other side of the veil. I know that I am loved and that I can become a better person because I know Christ. In the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

.................................................

Much Love,

JPB

ps. don't forget it is EASTER this weekend. AND that

Anything is possible #BecauseofHim